Lachs vs. Seelachs

My wife arrived a week ago in Berlin. It has been so nice to be together all this week. Megan just somehow makes everything happier.

So I wanted to have some things ready when she got here that she really likes. One thing I like to do for Megan is cook for her. And one of her favorite meals is salmon cooked with basil pesto spread over the top.

So, last week I am in the grocery store getting the ingredients I would need am I'm looking at the frozen fish. Salmon is called "Lachs" in German. There seem to be several different varieties available. Being on a limited Fulbright budget, I naturally look for the cheapest variety. After a minute's overview of the options, it looks like "Seelachsfilet" is going to be the cheapest kind. 2.99 Euros. Now, you may be saying, where is the salmon? But in German, "See" means sea. So I'm thinking, Seelachs must simply be salmon caught in the ocean, rather than salmon bred on a farm or something.

Today, I was in for a surprise. We pulled the salmon out of the freezer and I opened the box and put the salmon onto a tray to put in the oven. Megan says, that salmon looks pretty gray for salmon. Well, that's what it is though! I answer her. Maybe it'll get pinker in the oven. So in the oven it goes.

Hmmm. 15 minutes later, the fish looks even whiter! I pull it out and put it on our plates. Megan looks pretty suspicious. She hesitates to take the first bite.

"I'll take the first bite," I say. I pull off a piece of fish and start chewing. It's not bad. But it doesnt' really seem like salmon.

Megan starts eating and knows that it isn't salmon.

"But that's what the box says!" I tell her. "'Lachs' means 'salmon!' That's what it says on the box!" I take another bite. It definitely isn't salmon. It's white, it's chewier, it's not really flakey enough, and it just doesn't have enough flavor! In fact, it's kind of flavorless.

I'm losing my confidence. "Well, maybe they made a mistake. Maybe they accidentally got the wrong fish in the box," I say. I take another bite. Definitely not salmon. Get the wrong fish in the box? C'mon. I'm losing my confidence. "Maybe I better go get the dictionary. I'll look it up. Maybe I'm out of my mind and Lachs really doesn't mean salmon."

I look up salmon. Lachs. "Well, that's good," I think. "I didn't remember wrong." Then I figure just to be sure, I'll look up Seelachs. Pollack. Pollack? What the heck kind of a fish is that?